Toddler tantrums can happen anywhere — in the supermarket, at the park, or in the middle of a busy café. While they can feel embarrassing for parents, they are a normal part of child development. Young children are still learning how to manage strong emotions like anger and frustration, and they often need support from adults to cope with these feelings.
Understanding why tantrums happen and knowing how to respond calmly can make these situations easier to handle — even when you are in public.

Why Toddlers Have Tantrums
Tantrums are often triggered when toddlers feel overwhelmed or frustrated. Common causes include:
• Being tired or hungry
• Feeling frustrated or unable to do something
• Wanting more independence
• Looking for attention or reassurance
• Being told they cannot have something they want
Children aged 2 to 5 years are still developing self-control and emotional skills. Because they expect their needs to be met immediately, they may react strongly when this does not happen.

Stay Calm During the Tantrum
When a tantrum begins, the most important thing you can do is stay calm.
Focus on staying calm and ignoring any attention from people around you.
Your child learns emotional responses by watching you. If you stay calm, it helps them learn how to manage strong feelings over time.

Try to Distract Your Child
If you notice a tantrum starting, distraction can sometimes prevent it from escalating.
You might:
• Point out something interesting nearby
• Talk about something you see around you
• Encourage them to help with a small task
For example, saying “Look at that dog outside!” or asking them to help you find an item in the shop can redirect their attention.

Be Clear and Consistent
Sometimes tantrums happen because a child is told “no.”
When this happens:
• Say no calmly and firmly
• Keep your tone steady
• Do not change your mind just to stop the tantrum
Giving in can teach your child that tantrums are a way to get what they want.

Wait for the Tantrum to Pass
Most tantrums pass once the child releases their frustration.
During this time:
• Stay nearby to ensure they are safe
• Avoid arguing or reasoning while they are upset
• Let the emotion pass before discussing what happened
Children often cannot listen or think clearly during a tantrum, so it is best to wait until they are calm.

Plan Ahead for Public Outings
Tantrums are more likely when children are tired, hungry, or bored.
Prepare for outings by:
• Keeping trips short
• Avoiding outings when your child is tired or hungry
• Letting your child help with simple tasks (such as putting items in the trolley)
Preparation can reduce frustration and make outings smoother for both of you.

Help Your Child Learn to Manage Feelings
Toddlers need help learning how to understand and express emotions.
You can support them by:
• Naming their feelings (“I see you’re angry”)
• Showing calm behaviour yourself
• Encouraging them to talk about their feelings when they are older
Children learn emotional skills over time through support and example from their parents and caregivers.

Remember: Tantrums Are a Normal Stage
Although public tantrums can feel stressful, they are a normal part of early childhood. As children grow and develop better language and self-control, tantrums usually become less frequent.
With patience, consistency, and calm responses, you can help your toddler learn healthier ways to express their emotions.

If tantrums are very frequent, severe, or you are worried about your child’s behaviour, speak with your public health nurse or GP for guidance.